The "You Asked For It" Guide to Hosting a Swinger Game Night (Bless Your Horny Little Heart)
Alright, buckle up, buttercup. You wanna throw a swinger game night that’ll make even your most unhinged friends say, "Holy shit, they actually did it?" You came to the right place. We’re not talking about polite charades and chamomile tea. We’re talking about creating truly unforgettable memories.
Here's the playbook, no filter:
1. The Guest List: Quality Over Quantity 💥
Who Makes the Cut: Forget anyone who needs an explanation. You're inviting the people who already know the subtext. The ones whose group chat is a liability and those who thrive when the rules get bent. This isn't about inviting everyone you know; it's about curating a specific kind of energy.
The Vibe Check: If they’re easily offended, they’re out. If they are down for whatever, they’re in. The fewer, the better, honestly. Less to manage, more time for... activities.
The Invite: Keep it short. Keep it ambiguous enough for plausible deniability, direct enough for the initiated. "Game Night. You know the drill." Or a single, well-placed emoji that says everything.
2. The Location: Setting the Stage for Adult Games 😈
Location is Key: You need privacy. Get a space away from prying eyes and neighbors who will call the cops with noise complaints at 11pm. Then, set the scene like you're not trying too hard, but you're also not not trying.
Lighting Matters: Dim. Borderline dark. Enough to see your guests, but not enough to feel like you’re under a spotlight. Think red LEDs, maybe a blacklight if you’re feeling bold. The less visible, the more plausible the deniability in the morning.
Arrangement: Create little zones. Spots where people can gravitate, or disappear into, naturally. Function over form, always.
3. Breaking the Ice 🧊
Forget Small Talk. You're past that. Once everyone's arrived and the initial mingling kicks in (or fizzles out, whatever), it's time for a party game. Specifically, Bad Advice. Tap into your darkest sense of humor and embrace chaos of this irreverent card game.
The Rules Are Simple (Even When Intoxicated): No matter how many "truth serums" your guests have consumed, they'll get it. Draw a situation card. Everyone else throws down their best (worst) advice cards. The funniest/most messed-up combo wins the round. That's it. It’s designed to be played while multitasking, if you catch our drift.
Turn Up the Heat: Want to make it even more... interactive? 🔥
"Truth or Dare" Bonus Rounds: Instead of just winning the round, the player whose advice card is chosen nominates another player to answer a truth (from a pre-written, very specific list) or take a dare (from a bowl of increasingly questionable actions).
"Shots for Shame": Turn Bad Advice into a drinking game. Every time someone's advice card is not picked, they take a shot (no peer pressuring though!).
Blind Play: After a few drinks, have everyone pick advice cards without looking at them. The pure, unadulterated chaos of truly random bad advice is unparalleled.
Once everyone is in the groove, you won't need advice. You'll just need vibes.
From there, your job as host is simple: ride the wave. Watch the magic happen.
So, go forth, you beautiful kink lover. Host that swinger game night. And for the love of all that is unholy and hilarious, send us the receipts. We live for the mess.
Disclaimer: Bad Advice is a game. This is satire, for entertainment. Don't sue us. We are not responsible for any actual bad decisions made, relationships altered, or hangovers acquired. But if you do, tell us everything.